Childbirth According to Caleb

Every time it comes closer to adding a new baby to the family the kids inevitably start asking about HOW the baby gets out of my tummy. Our stock response is "All you need to know is that when it is time Mommy will go to the hospital and there is a special way that the doctors help Mommy to get the baby out. That's all you need to know right now..." Clearly, that is not a detailed description, and the kids occasionally try to come up with their own theories...

Which brings us to yesterday, IN PUBLIC, at Sam's Club. Caleb was sitting in the cart patting my stomach as we walked through the aisles... (Keep in mind that the lady in the same aisle was trying so hard not to die of laughter, and was pretending that she wasn't eavesdropping, which is dumb, because it was pretty obvious by her stifled laughter that she was.)

CALEB: So when our baby comes out you will get to go the hospital, right Mom?

ME: Right Caleb.

CALEB: And the doctor will take our baby out of your tummy?

ME: Something like that, Caleb. I don't think you need to worry about that right now...

CALEB: I know how they do it, Mom.

ME: You do? I really don't think you need to worry about that right now though, Caleb. We'll talk about it later...

CALEB: (ignoring me...) First you go into the hospital. Then all the doctors HUG and SQUEEZE your tummy really tight mom.

(At this point he hugged his arms around my tummy really tight to show me how tight you'd have to squeeze)

ME: Really?

CALEB: Yes, and they SQUEEZE so hard that a special trap door opens up to let the baby out.

(he motions this by taking his two hands together and opens them like a set of double doors)

ME: (Speechless...)

CALEB: That 's how they do it, right Mom?

ME: (all I could say was...) I really don't think you need to be worrying about that right now Caleb...

CALEB: It's okay, Mom. I'm not worried. I know about the trap door...

So that my friends is "Childbirth according to my 4 year old."(I guess in theory he's essentially correct... What can I possibly say to that? Sigh.) :)