MJC&FAM: Extra Creative Tattling

Monday, December 1, 2014

Extra Creative Tattling

I found this on my counter this morning after the kids had gone to school...

It reads:
The Christiansen News
LEVI-BROTHER?
Is Levi an adoring brother... or a bully? Levi has been seen hurting people: pinching butts, hitting people, even SETH, who at 2 years old can occasionally even hit back. The question: Is our family safe with Levi? see investigation on page 5

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"I want to go to France when I serve my mission so that I can speak English..."
"I hope the new baby is a girl so Kellie will have someone to play girl stuff with so I don't have to anymore..."
(While moaning and wailing after biting his tongue...) "I need to file my teeth flat like an herbivore..."
"Dad? Did they have color tv's when you were little?"
"Bowser has a son named Bowser Jr.- but I don't think he's a very good dad... he's not setting a very good example for his son. He's not very nice." (Who says you can't learn anything of moral value from video games?) :)
"Why do I have to do EVERYTHING around here?"
"Are the Ewoks and Chewy relatives?"
"Mom, I think I'm getting to the age where I'm supposed to say 'Dude' and 'Awesome'. What do you think?"
"Dad- did they have crayons around when you were little?"
Watched my kids storm through the living room, conga-line style. When asked what they were doing, Aaron said, "Look, Mom! We're a KID-O-PILLAR!" :)

"Mrs. Katz always tells us we should stop whatever it is we're doing and keep our eyes on her because she's so beautiful."
I just found Caleb out on our deck, looking up at the birds on our roof and greeting them by saying, "Hola!" I asked him if he thought our birds spoke Spanish and his reply was this... "Well, they have been South for a while... maybe they visited Mexico for the winter?"
"I really wish there would be actual STEAK at this conference..."
"I can't wait to be an Eagle Scout! It will be so cool to turn into an eagle..."
"When was electricity invented, Mom? I think it came out a REALLY long time ago, like in the 60's or 70's. Were you around then, Mom?"
"Hello there, Mr. Gingerbread man...I don't want to eat you- but I HAVE to, because you look so good!"
"There are 14 boxes of raisins in the snack bowl. I've hit the mother lode of raisins!"
"Our ancestors were WHALES! That's so cool!" Um. no. Actually I said some of them were from Wales- not that they were Whales. :)
"Some words have lazy letters that refuse to say their sound... it's like they're on vacation or something!"
"5 is an odd number... that means it's a little wierd..."

"When I get married Levi will be a BIG boy... like 6. right?" (I guess Kellie's getting married in 4 years! Boy they sure grow up fast!) :)
"When I get married I'll be sure to come home to visit... because I'm sure Dad will miss me." :)
"You're my BEST GIRL, Mom!"
Playing the Hot Potato game, Kellie likes to say, "YOU BURN!" to whoever gets stuck holding the potato!
"Chicka Chicka BOOM BOOM!" (Her favorite book!)
"K-K-K- (big pause) OWWWW- IEEEE" (She's finally saying her name!)
"Baby E-I" (Baby Levi!)
She calls sheep "shhh-beeps".
Kellie likes to say the sounds rather than the name of an animal when you ask her what a particular animal is. When asked what a lamb was, she said. "BAAAAAAAAAA-B!" (I guess all the sheep in our house are named "Bob!")
"Chooo CHOOOOO!" (This is accompanied by her arm up in the air, pretending to pull the train whistle!)

LEVI(in the most serious tone a 5 year old can muster...) : Mom, the kids at school have been calling me names. I don't know why and I don't like it. ME: Well what have they been calling you? LEVI (now in tears): Cutie Patootie. ME: (trying not to laugh, am speechless...) LEVI: Mom, just what is a "Patootie" ?
LEVI: You get to snuggle all day- all the time. Me:? LEVI: You know- 'cause that baby in your tummy is snuggled up in there...giving you hugs all the time.
"Can I have a bite of that?" -"No, Levi, that's my lunch, remember you already ate your lunch..." - "Then can I have ALL of it so it will be MY lunch? You can go make a new one for you." Nice try buddy...
Gathered in the living room, Levi randomly announces, "Well, THAT was awkward." (Not sure what exactly was awkward, but laughed nonetheless.) :)
Levi: Why is Seth out of your tummy? Me: He got too big and had to come out. Levi: He 'scaped. Me: Yes, I suppose he "escaped." Levi: He got too big, 'scaped, and crawled right out, right? Me: Yes Levi, that's just how it happened... (Childbirth, as explained by my 3 year old...)
"ME cute!"
(With big wet, sloppy tears as he runs to me...) "Daddy's BAD!" He says this whenever Matt tells him NO, I think he takes it as a personal insult to his Levi-ness. :)
" 'oup me!" Translation: "Soup me!", which I have to assume means he wants soup for lunch.
"Mow, mow, mow!"
"WOW!"