So I was sitting in church yesterday, and I have to admit I was only partially listening to the lesson. It's not that the lesson was boring, I've just had a lot on my mind lately, especially since last week was crazy and frustrating, to say the least. Well, I had a moment where a thought popped into my head and my first reaction was "Surely, not! The Lord wouldn't DO that to me!" But as I sat there and listened, I became pretty sure that I was right. Let me explain.
I have been incredibly worried about our baby. Not many people are aware of this, but I miscarried last fall, just a few months before I got pregnant with this baby. I was not very far along, but I think after losing one, I have been more nervous with this pregnancy than with the others. I have been hesitant to believe everything is really okay, even though logically I know this baby is progressing normally, especially since all the tests show that he is fine. Two weeks ago I went in and was told our baby is breech. SCARED ME TO DEATH. There is still a chance he will turn on his own, and the doctor can try to turn him if he is still breech this week, but if we can't get him turned around I am looking at the possibility of a breech delivery (which is a bit more risky) or a C-section.
Neither option sounds all that appealing, to tell you the truth. I don't want to take unnecessary risks with this baby, but the thought of a C-section is terrifying. (I am MORE than a bit squeamish about the thought of major surgery, especially while being awake. I know I wouldn't be able to SEE anything, but I really don't want to HEAR it either! I am that squeamish...) I have been praying for everything to turn out fine and to not be so nervous.
Then the events of last week transpired. Just about everything that could go wrong did. Car problems... kids misbehaving... refrigerator leaking... new floors possibly damaged... mice in the garage (we've caught 5 so far... EEEEW!) you name it... it happened.
As I was sitting there at church, it occurred to me that my prayers had been answered. I have not had time to sit around and obsess and worry about this baby. Our life was kept full and busy and as I sat there thinking about it, I couldn't help but smile. I am pretty sure I never would have asked for all the chaos, but there is no doubt that it was effective in keeping my mind off the troubles at hand!
It really is funny how our prayers are answered sometimes. I'm not sure if I should be grateful for the diversions or not... but I am grateful that I am able to smile about it. Maybe my sense of humor is starting to come back... :)
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4 comments:
Oh Julie. You truly are awesome. Seriously. I know how you feel. We about lost Grace and I had miscarriage before her. When I got prego with Taggart, I was terrified. I have had 2 c sections and they're not that bad, but yes they are surgery. Hang in there. Good luck and I hope that everything works out great!
Julie, I am glad that you got a "break" from worrying about your baby! I know kids can be so stresful! (Did you see me yesterday lol) but I know that the Lord will never give us anything that we can't handle... that doesn't mean we will like it though!! You and your family will be in my prayers! I hope everything works out for you!! (ps. isn't it awesome when you realize one of your prayers have been answered!!! :))
Why is it when it rains it pours. Right now it's pouring over the Dell family too. The last two weeks, 2 speeding tickets (jon), new tires, & the car is at the dealership getting fixed. I'm hoping the pouring rain will stop now.
Till then thanks for the post. It's always good to see the silver lining. Now I just need to look for mine ?
Hang in there! If you need anything just give me a call. It is great to have the spirit to help you through these trying times in life, but know that He is in control and it will all work out.
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